Animal Advice to Parents from the Childless

OK.

So, when I'm volunteering at CityCritters, we're basically all stuck in a 3' x 10' space. Sometimes it gets pretty crowded.

For some reason, there were 4 volunteers there, including myself, and a couple of people who were eyeing the kitties.

And then she arrives.

By biggest nightmare.

A mom, with a DOUBLE WIDE STROLLER, occupied by twin girls, about 1 1/2 years old, writing and screeching upon arrival.

There are lots of parents who bring their kids by to see, touch, and talk to the kitties. Some of them every week. This, in theory, isn't a problem. What IS a problem is that most of these parents don't understand/take time to/care to explain the nuances of introducing one's self to an animal that doesn't know you.

I remember this lesson well when my dad taught me. First I was to ASK THE OWNER IF IT WAS OK. If the animal was friendly. He told me to approach slowly, not with the fingertips but the back of the hand. Let the animal sniff you. See how it reacts.

But no.

Most of these parents let their kids jam their hands in the cages. Without asking. These animals are, well, ANIMALS, and almost all of them are rescued from the street, still traumatized, displeased to be in a cage.

So "double-wide" walks in, and instantly, my colleagues turn to me. This is my unofficial job. To deal with the children and their parents. Which, if you know me at all, is a huge testament to how much the women I work with HATE kids. I OF ALL PEOPLE am the most patient with them.

"Double-wide" crams her stroller in as far as it will go. It doesn't go far, but blocks all entrance and escape from our little workspace. The kids are screeching. I say "Are you interested in a cat?" because if she's not, she's gotta go.

"Oh yes," she says, "we already have one at home. But she runs away from the girls when they try to pet her, and it upsets them."

As I glance at the two banshees squirming in their carriage, I'm not really wondering why that might be.

I explain that NO CAT is going to allow toddlers to run after them, pick them up and squeeze them. But maybe she should consider an older, mellow cat.

Their cat is 19, she says.

"Double-wide" is now perusing the cats, judging solely on appearance, inquiring "This one's cute! what about this one? Can the girls pick them up?"

No.

I explain that I had just walked in myself, that I didn't know any of the cats, that I don't just reach in and pick up cats I don't know.

She keeps asking. I keep saying no. I tell her that if she really wants, I would open the cage so that the girls could pet them. At her own risk.

She lets one daughter out of her stroller. She reaches in vain to try to pet the cat. The other one is now screaming bloody murder out of what I figure to be manipulation, frustration, and jealousy.

She lets the other one out. She is totally in the way of the other 8 people in our cramped space. Yelling, stomping, screaming, totally ignored. I physically pick her up and move her so that she doesn't slam her head into one of the open cages.

Mom asks about the cat that was literally brought in from the city shelter 3 minutes prior. The cat has had no adjustment time. The cat was evicted from her home, separated from her owner and sister. Mom insists I let her screaming daughters pet her.

I suggest she leave her daughters at home and pick a suitable cat then. She ignores me, almost as much as she is ignoring the incessant wailing of the terrors I can only assume she created in her own image.

I open the bottom cage. Mom pets the cat. She allows one of the girls TO WALK IN THE CAT'S CAGE TO PET THE ANIMAL.

I pull the kid out and say "OK. That's enough. I can't allow you to put your children in danger. I can't do this anymore."

Parents, please follow the advice my dad gave me. Teach your child to ASK PERMISSION to touch ANY ANIMAL. Accept that sometimes it's not a good idea, even if your kid might not like it. Teach them that NO ONE, including small, scared animals, do not like to have even well-meaning fingers poked in their faces.

UNDERSTAND that people who work with animals are usually only responsible for those that are not human. They're not there to babysit or educate your kids.

Take them to the damn zoo instead.