Ko samui - I'm sorry, I rode the elephants

"samui" in Thai must mean "overcast."  There's no sun again, so Lisa and I decide to ride the elephants.

There's an elephant "trek" and waterfall package for 2.5 hours that costs about $30.  I had never really had a desire to ride an elephant, but I do like waterfalls, and riding an elephant to the waterfalls seemed like a nice thing to do, and 2.5 hours is about the limit of my attention span for nature.  

We get on the open-back truck and meet a young girl from Amsterdam.  We go to the waterfall.  The waterfall is mildly stronger than our crappy shower, but we get some pretty pictures anyway.  

Theres a stand selling baskets of fruit to feed a small elephant that is tied to a post with a simple rope on one foot,  Fuck yes, i want to feed the elephant.  He straightens his trunk and grabs the banana with it, so gently from my hand.  He stick the banana in his mouth, peel and all.

I am in love with this elephant.  This was the highlight of my trip.

We sit down and I suddenly remember reading that there are lot of places in asia that torture elephants to tame them.  I start to feel really badly, but our friend from amsterdam tells us that she did some research before, and these people are nice to the elephants.

i dont know if this is true, but it's too late, and I try to convince myself that i am not part of the problem.  I wish I had remembered sooner.

We pay a photographer $10 to take pics of us on the elephant, you know, in those cheesy paper frames.  Cause fuck yes, I ant a picture of me on an elephant.  Wearing an African-print sarong, because I am totally that stereotype today.

Our elephant, "sow," is very gentle, and our "driver" tells us he's been training her for 5 years, but she's 20.  The guy says to "you like Madame, Sow? repeatedly, and she makes a honking sound from her trunk every time.  These elephants walk slow as hell, and sometimes Sow tries to go off the path, and our driver gently talks her and taps her lightly to go in the direction he wants.  I try further to convince myself they're nice to elephants here.  

The driver hops off, and tells each of us one at a time to get out of our basket and ride on Sow's neck.  She has scratchy, wiry, sparse hair on her head, and her skin is rough and dry, and each of us apologize to Sow for stepping on her head.  I can feel her shoulder blades move when she walks, and I am wondering how many ants that are crawling on her back are making their way up my cooter.

We pass another elephant, and the two elephants start nuzzling.  Te other driver says "not now, sow!" And turns to us and us "sow's boyfriend.  Last night, two times.  Take all energy."  Frigging hilarious.  The guy barely speaks English but knows enough to make jokes about elephant libido.

The driver is now on the ground with our iPhones, taking a shit ton of pictures and video.  This guy is a pro.  I tip him at the end, for both of us, and he say thank you, but turns to Lisa and says, "you too, Madame, Sow and i have to eat."  This guy really WAS a pro.

I really, really, loved my day with the elephants, even though I felt bad afterwards, and I'll never do it again.

On the last night, lisa and i went out for pad thai at the night market, but timeka stayed at the beachfront.  we get back there, and timeka is LIVID, completely furious. 

The manager waited until 7:30 ON THE LAST NIGHT to go to timeka and DEMAND she pay RIGHT NOW.  She said she needed to wait for her friends and the manager accosted her, yelling at her to pay for all of us, that jjhe saw she "had money" and made a huge scene in front of all of the other guests.

At no time in the three full days we were there did ANYONE approach any of us about when we needed to pay.  Keep in mind, timeka barely left the beachfront for three days.  I asked to speak to the manager.  I calmly told him that we had been there for three days and no one mentioned when we had to pay, and that we have been very quiet, respectful guests, and that if he had just told us earlier we,would have been happy to pay whenever he wanted, he just started yelling and pointing and screaming again that people sometimes leave without paying and that my friend wouldn't pay.  He caused another scene and did not listen to reason.  He was very rude, a poor manager, and a poor businessman.  A really sour ending to a really sweet couple of days, and a very un-Asian way to deal with a problem.  I thought they were non confrontational??