I convinced Lisa and Timeka that even though the modern onsen is in a mall, and we could shop after, the only way to go on our last day is the traditional route.
We choose ------ onsen. Tripadvisor says that even though it is a traditional onsen, it is close to a train, and they're used to foreigners so they'll be able to help us.
The train ride takes 45 minutes and Lisa gives up on seeing the sky tower. We wanted to spend our last day together. We ask where the onsen is at the station, and the guy tells her to go straight and look on our left. Equipped with a screen capture of a map on my phone, we start walking.
Lisa is upset that she only has two bandaids. Traditional onsen do not permit tattoos of any kind, as they are reminiscent of japanese yakuza gangs. Lisa has a tattoo she has wanted to remove from her ankle of a simple teddy bear holding a heart. Definitely not yakuza, but from what she has read it totally doesn't matter. Not allowed. Eh, I'm not worried. Then again, I have no tattoos. And earlier in the day, I was putting a Nexcare brand bandage on my blister, and was going to ask the girls if they have ever used one... Those fuckers don't come off for days. Practically waterproof. But what boring conversation. I don't bring it up.
We walk and we walk and we walk. We ask 3 people on the way. No one speaks English, but they all say "oh! Onsen!" and can tell us that we're going in the correct direction but they don't know where it is.
Did I mention that NO ONE in tokyo knows where anything is?!?
It wasnt until we got to the police corner that we were told where exactly to turn left. The Tokyo police are the nicest, smiliest, and most helpful people... I guess in a city with barely any crime, there is plenty of time to be helpful to tourists.
We must have walked 40 minutes. We're already exhausted... Lisa and I walked all day, never having napped since we woke up at 4 am to go to the fish market. Timeka went home from the fish market early to sleep, but she hadn't slept AT ALL the night before (reading a book, of course.)
Lisa spots an unremarkable, no English, brown building deep set in one block, past a parking lot.
"that's it!" Lisa proclaims.
How do you know?!" I ask.
"I just know." She has a crazy smile and a look in her eyes I've never seen from her. She is clearly delirious. Delirious.
"Oh yeah, I forgot you learned Japanese while we were sleeping."
We are passed by an elderly couple on bicycles and Lisa, I swear in only Japanese, very fast, says, "excuse me, onsen?" It really sounds like she's fluent in Japanese. Old man replies, "hai," meaning "yes," the only word I have picked up since the beginning of the trip. Lisa is right, again.
No one at the desk at the onsen speaks English. Not a word. We immediately take off our shoes, and are lead to a machine much like the one I had to Order my ramen from at a restaurant. It looks like an old cigarette machine, but all of the buttons have prices on them. The lady points to the 700 yen (about $7, today was ladies discount day) button, which pops out a ticket we give to the lady. She then brings us to small lockers which require a $1 coin. I take my bathing suit and towel out of my bag, cram my purse and shoes in the locker, and take my key.
We go into the ladies room. Everyone is naked. Naked-ass naked. Old ladies, little kids, some really young boys. Not one bathing suit. I expected this, but I brought it anyway, just in case. Lisa is the most modest of us three, and asks if she can wear it. Absolutely not. She is not thrilled. Timeka and i couldn't give a shit. She bucks up and bares all, and we all wrap ourselves in our towels. Nope, no towels, either. It would have been ok to use a washcloth, and some ladies cover their crotches with their washcloths, but only for a small amount of time, so there's no point to that, either.
There are more lockers in the ladies room. All our money is outside in the first locker, and I assure the girls that no one wants to steal our clothes here, so we dump our stuff in two lockers and go.
The place is beautiful. Dark and cedar-y on the inside, trees, waterfall and stone pools outside. Gorgeous. I am so excited we picked this place. We are literally the only westerners.
The pool temperatures range from, oh, REALLY FUCKING HOT to temperate, to REALLY FUCKING COLD. I get in the first one. Timeka and Lisa get into one a little less so. We're talking to each other, not too loudly I think, but we're not whispering. No one tries to quiet us, so we figure its ok. All the water is minerally and salty and burns our mosquito bites.
I'm talking to Timeka and Lisa, and comparing it to spa castle in queens. It's Korean, but pretty much the same idea. There, you get a coded wristlet you take with you that has your key on it and if you want a service like a massage or a scrub, or if you want food, they note your code and you pay at the end so you're not carrying money around. I wonder what you do here if you need money or a service. My wallet is by the entrance, and the entrance is where the coed area is. Do I have to put all my clothes on when I'm wet, just to go out?
About 10 minutes in, we're already dying of heat stroke, and have moved to the tepid outdoor bath. the lady who works the changing area finds us and points to a bracelet on her wrist. I don't have one. None of us do. So I field this one, come out of the pool to show the lady where our things are.
She is pointing to the key with, of course, a bracelet. She speaks no English.
This poor woman. She's pointing to lockers. I think she wants us to use three lockers because there are three of us. So I sort our clothes into three lockers. Nope. That's not what she wants. I put them back in one. We're talking to each other, and neither understands. We're both smiling. We're both trying. It ain't working. I figure she wants me to pay for the locker. I try to explain my money is in the other area. we're both tired, but laughing, we're trying to understand. 10 MINUTES this is going on, and she doesn't quit. I finally realize I'm not getting out of there without paying for that locker, which is only $1, it's just that I'm naked, dripping wet, and I'm gonna have to put my clothes back on to go out. Big sigh. I throw on my tank and shorts, no bra or panties cause fuck it, not everything needs to get all wet. I take her wrist and bring her outside with me.
She gets the girl at the front desk. I open my locker and show her my money and all of my stuff. The two of them burst into laughter at my idiocy.
It was only for my shoes.
Of course, I have been so diligent about using coins whenever I have a chance, I have no change at this point, and I don't have anything that adds to 100 yen. I show her I only have a 10000 yen bill. THAT'S $100. I need her to breaks $100 for $1. She brings me back to the token machine. Oh god, is this machine going to give me $99 in coins?!? I trust in the system, and it gives me big bills only. I put in another bill to give me change.
I bring all my stuff to the second locker, lock everything in it, pay the $1, which CAME RIGHT BACK OUT WHEN I RETRIEVED MY SHIT LATER because it was only a deposit.
Was she worried about my stuff? Did she really just want me to have a key? Or, was I just not following the rules, and she wanted to me to follow them? I'll never know.
I get back to the pool outside, completely depleted. I start To cry. That was so difficult and frustrating. And the whole time, no one raised their voices, no one was mean. I thought about all of the Immigrants who come to America, who can't or don't learn the language, and what they must have to put up with when they come. For a better life for themselves, and for their family. How brave and frustrating it must be for them every day. And for me, 15 minutes and I wanted to take a nap.
I guess all the lack of sleep made me emotional, because now Lisa and I are talking about, well, private shit, and yadda, yadda, yadda, the three of us fools are crying in this pool.
An older woman with a large mastectomy scar, walks into our pool. Lisa wishes for god to bless her. Tears well up again. Lisa's all self-conscious being naked, and here comes this breast cancer survivor with a huge scar, naked as all get out, walks in with no shame or modesty. Lisa's mom passed recently from breast cancer, and I know it must have taken all of her strength to keep it together. Healing waters, indeed.
And in the height of the outpouring of heartfelt emotions, all of a sudden, 6 prepubescent, preteen boys get into out small pool and are staring at us. And, my Japanese is nonexistent, but i know they're talking about us. And we're all naked. They finally say "hi," wave, and smile at us.
Fuck. This was the most uncomfortable and awkward I think I have ever felt. These boys are definitely too old to be in this pool. Lisa, Timeka and I are now laughing, at least. And sinking as deeply into the water as humanly possible. We try to swim away. There's nowhere for us to go. Oh god. I feel like a pedophile. We can't leave, that's worse. We really don't want them to be staring at us naked as we walk away.
Timeka is convinced they are talking about her. They've probably never seen a black woman before, and possibly never someone who is a bit more...womanly... Than the rest of the Japanese women at the onsen, to make matters worse, at least one of the three of us aren't sporting... Ahem... A natural look down below. Who the hell knows.
They eventually tire of looking at us, and run off. We're hysterical. Lisa looks in their direction and says, "wait, a couple of them don't have penises."
"Lisa," I said, "you know that makes them girls, right?" The heat has definitely gotten to our heads.
They all had identical tan lines, bottoms only, and had short haircuts. Lisa figures they're part of some team, and some of them are definitely boys.
Lisa and I now go into the small pool inside. H-shaped, made for about 4 people. As soon as we get comfortable, the 6 of them walk by, and they all turn around and look at us. They stop in their tracks.
They're ALL GIRLS. Lisa and I crack up, and I motion to the girls to come in the pool with us. They RUN to get in.
I'm on one side of the "H" and Lisa is on the other. Three crowd around me, and three around Lisa. They are giddy with excitement. I figure maybe they have learned a little English in school. "Hello! How are you?" I ask, clearly and slowly.
Their faces brighten and their eyes get wide. In an instant, at the same time, the three of them reply, "FINE, THANK YOU!! AND YOU?"
Lisa says she doesn't like spa castle because they make you wear matching outfits, and it feels "new world order." Three naked Japanese girls talking to you in unison? THAT'S NEW WORLD ORDER.
They introduce themselves, one by one, with "my name is" followed by about 12 syllables each. Like, "my name is mayamotofujisansasantakayama". I don't mean to sound racist here, but they're introducing themselves by their full names, pretty fast, and I know a number of Japanese people and they all have two or three syllable names. These girls had a whole mess of polysyllabic names, and they are laughing as I try and fail to repeat them. I am praying they don't test me on it later. I tell them I am a teacher. They get that, but the math part, not so much. A bunch of Japanese girls don't know the word "math." This surprises me a bit.
I try a couple of other sentences, no luck. Lisa thinks they're On a team. i try that. I ask "do you play sport?" And I motion swimming at them. They say "oh! Volleyball!" I was co-captain of my high school volleyball team, so i say "oh, me too! (Pointing to myself, and motioning with three fingers on each hand in the air) Setter." One girl gets really excited "me, setter!" And now they're introducing themselves by their positions: blocker, passer, hitter. I can't take how adorable.
We finally decide to leave. We get all of the clothes out of the locker, and as we're standing there, the girls are introducing us to their moms. They don't want to leave. Adorable, but I'm naked and they're in the way and I want to get dressed. I motion that when we're done getting dressed, we'll take a picture. Ok, that gets rid of them for a moment. I throw my clothes on. Lisa puts her shoes on. She gets yelled at. No shoes allowed. She forgot. She feels badly. Now we're rushing. Well, Lisa and I are rushing. I go outside and get the rest of our stuff. We're going to take a picture with the girls. Timeka is still getting ready, and Lisa sees that the young girl at the desk sees her ankle tattoo, and is ratting her out. I am trying to get the picture together, not noticing this at all. The girls and I are all set up, and I'm calling Lisa over, who is trying to run the hell out of there. She comes over to take the pic, and all of a sudden, a woman runs up to us and yells, in English, "GO HOME!"
I, oblivious, think that it's one of the moms trying to tell us that we don't have to hang out with their girls who are following me around like imprinted ducklings. Nope. They're yelling at us to leave, because Lisa has that damned tattoo. I say, "one picture!" smiling, still oblivious. I tell the girls in America we hug, and I hug all of them. They hug very awkwardly, and for some reason are now saying to me, "teacher fight.". I have no idea what the hell they mean. Lisa is just trying to gather her things and get Timeka to hurry up. She tells me what is going on, and with the girls still trying to hang with me, I whisper, "let's get the fuck it of here" and shout at Timeka, "meet us outside!!" And we leave, thinking the cops are going to be there any minute. You know, the same nice ones who helped us get there. We walk past the same police station, and the policemen wave at us. I guess we're in the clear.
We take a long walk back, a long train ride home, and we're beyond tired. We have to transfer for a total of four trains. We all want to sleep, and it's 10 pm. We had blown off our karaoke dates, sadly. We didnt mean it. We gotta eat.
Timeka is trying to eat at this Italian place she found and liked, Lisa and I are adamant that it has to be Japanese. We don't want to go past our block. We find one place, full of people. It's Chinese/Japanese. ugh. Well, there's all these people there.
The food is awful. The fried chicken is like mini popcorn chicken, but each teeny piece has a bone in it. we still dont know what chicken part it was. the gyoza los like it came from the freezer. my ramen, which looked like my best option, flavorless. The end, as it began. Somehow, it was fitting.
Really, the only thing that mattered was the company, anyway.
My real last meal might have been the fish market again, as lisa and I had toyed with the idea of going back to eat at the more popular sushi dai with the hour or two wait. Our flight wasnt until 5pm. But I started to think it was greedy, and I didn't want to sully my experience the day before. Also, I had insomnia again, and Lisa was sleeping. So my last meal, with my remaining $30, was all spent on whatever I cold get from that fantastic Lawsen's store across the street, for the flight (I hate airline food, and never get on a flight without a full meal packed.)
I got: a couple of rice balls stuffed with salmon, sausage, covered in seaweed. a small tray of salmon and roe nigiri sushi. A matcha dacquoise. A pork Katsu cutlet "burger." A small salad. A matcha latte, a cup of coffee, and a delicious red-bean filled donut for breakfast. I almost got a natto (sticky, fermented, soybeans, a delicacy) roll just to try it, but I was sure it would be nasty, and it put me just over the $30 I had. Oh, and a small cake from the bakery for the cute, older Japanese lady who was so nice to us. I'm leaving Japan practically yen-less, meeting my goal of leaving a country with none of their currency left.
I think that 7-11 sushi was better than the stuff I from the restaurant I frequent at home.
We stayed at that hotel for four nights. The adorable older woman, the one who hugged me on the first day, runs up to me with her daughter. She says "present-o" and brings me to the office. We presents me with three decorative large envelopes, one with a ribbon and their business cards attached to the front, their names highlighted. Daughter explains that this is a family business that has been in her family for a few generations, and they usually only do this for long-term guests. But we were special, always smiling, and she wanted to give us a gift. I bow, and hug her, and shake her hand, and tell her we'll be back.
And when we do, we're waiting two hours for sushi fresh from the pier.
2 comments:
Good read. Liked the part about the 6 girls, must've been cute and awkward at the same time
Awesome blog post! :-)
As a long-time resident of Tokyo (14 years), it was so refreshing to see things from the eyes of someone new to the city/country. I love your writing style as well. You rock!
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