Our flight from Cyprus was scheduled at 6:15 pm, so after packing, we walked to finikoudis beach, probably our last beach time of the trip, for a couple of hours. We picked a sunbed place on the opposite side of the beach from where we were last time. There were maybe 10 people there with us, and the sunbeds only cost €2 apiece. Aaahhhhhhh. The water is completely clear, warm, and empty. I get a €1 beer and a €1 lemon fanta and mix them to make my lasts Clara on the beach. (When was the last time you got a beer on the beach for $1?!)
I actually got a little tears-eyed when we left.
Our airbnb host Antonio offered to drive us to the airport for free. So nice. The airport is a 15-minute drive, so we get there about 3 hours before we leave.
Dammit. Well, I bet Israeli security is going to be tight, so it's fine.
I didn't realize coming to Cyprus that El Al was going to charge us $40 per piece of luggage to check in. That's right... On a $220 per person round-trip flight we paid $80 ONE WAY to check our bags. Fuck. I didn't make this mistake again... Justin carried on his bag (because he's a MAN and only needed to use a CARRY-ON for a 3+ week journey) and I checked mine in. It's still $40, but better than $80. You're not going to get me twice, El Al.
We get to security and a guy who looks a little like Jon Stewart is asking us a a fuck-ton of questions. He doesn't look like he is amused, and he doesn't look satisfied with our answers. And his accent is very thick, so I don't understand him at first. I am answering nervously, as I always do at security checkpoints, even though I'm never doing anything wrong.
Jon Stewart then swabs our bags and lets us go through to the check in.
Check in girl says "oh, you didn't online check in? You have to do that. Over there". And she makes us go back out past Jon Stewart to check in. We get to the machines, and they're all rebooting. We're waiting, and ours goes online before this Israeli couple's does, and the woman says "ah, yours works because of your American passport." I said "you don't know how many sideways looks we have gotten here with these." She smiles, "well, you must look suspicious."
Back to the check out girl. She makes a face and says "Ohhhhhhhh, you didn't pay for your bag online? It would have been only $20."
El Al got me again. I forgot that with these budget airlines, you often pay for all the extras before you arrive. I am just destined to bleed money on this trip. Earlier in the morning, I realized that our tel aviv airbnb host has a "moderate" cancellation policy, which means that if we arrived, and decided not to stay, he would have refunded 50% of the remaining nights. It would have amounted to about $300, I think. Ugh, I tell myself it was goodwill... It wasn't his fault we got scared and left. I'll consider it a mitzvah.
We get through security. They take my baba ghanoosh and some guy's bottle of sambuca, and casually toss it next to the bottle of Smirnoff they confiscated from some other moron. And they scour Justin's bag to find his nail clippers, which he's allowed to carry on anyway. I say "well all is security actually makes me feel better." Justin says, "I ALWAYS get pulled for a second search. Always." we've got about 2.5 hours to kill at this point, so we sit at a cafe. There's wifi (turns out there's free wifi all over the airport but whatever) and Justin gets a sandwich and a pretty expensive $7 grapefruit juice and I eat the food that security didn't take away from me.
Justin had just finished his sandwich and hadn't even started on the juice before we hear, on the loudspeaker, "Mathews, Justin and Phillips, Cindy, please come to the gate about your flight."
Justin says "see? There's always a problem." But he thinks maybe we got an upgrade or something. I am more dubious.
The airport security guy says "I'm sorry, I don't know what this is about, but I have to bring you to security." He takes is to the BACK ROOM of security. A man takes our passports. They start talking in Hebrew. They used a lot of "please" and "thank you" but I still didn't feel good about this. We wait there for a minute, and they bring us into a room with some guy who's sitting at a computer, and they tell us to sit down. There's another man seated in the room with us. We don't say hello.
An El Al security guy holds our passports. The two security men argue about something... The El Al guy wanted him to escort us somewhere and the computer guy says "I cannot right now... I am dealing with a fake passport."
Well, THAT didn't make me happy.
So the El Al guy takes us to the first security gate where Jon Stewart was. They have our carry on luggage and have opened them both up and are scouring EVERYTHING and swabbing everything. They are very nice and apologetic, and my woman is very interested in talking about my Invisalign. Justin's bag swab sets something off. Oh, that's not good. They take us back to a room in the back where there's paper covering the windows. They've got Justin's bag, and our passports, and bring us inside the room. The room has a chair and a curtain.
I'm convinced justin is getting strip searched and possibly the glove.
Justin is only concerned that they're going to take away his $7 juice that he really really wanted to drink. He gives it to me to put in my bag.
There's a man and a lady. The man is smiling and trying to make us comfortable. The woman, not so much. She calls for back up, and is scanning Justin's shit in a big x-ray machine. The puts justin in the curtained room and tells him to take off his shoes. Luckily for justin that's as far as they went with him. The back up lady patted me down and got me with the wand.
They bring us back to the Jon Stewart security desk. They have pulled my check-in luggage and have gone through EVERYTHING. they made a bit of a mess with Justin's backpack. They are done with us, and the original El Al guy brings us back through the normal security scanners, which we have to go through AGAIN, Which to me is laughable at this point. I take out the juice. Before we even have to explain, the El Al security guy is telling the airport security girl that we bought it inside the airport, and he took us out and we were with him the whole time, escorted, and we should keep the juice. The girl is not pleased. She makes me take a sip of the juice. Good thing I've only recently been turned on to grapefruit, because I used to find it disgusting. I take a sip. It's fresh squeezed and super-tart. You owe me one for that, justin. Justin gets to keep the juice. El Al wins some points on that one.
Justin thinks that Jon Stewart was supposed to do something when he first checked us out, and he didn't, because one of the security guys apologized to him and said "my mistake." I don't know what it was, but it took us about an hour. Good thing we got to the airport early.
The flight was delayed almost an hour, because of all of the security precautions at Tel Aviv airport.
It's on the plane that I realize (a) we're not flying to Istanbul tomorrow, we're flying outt the next day. And we're flying out on shabbos, which means we can't take any public transportation. Gotta take a taxi, at least $50, probably more on shabbos. Great.
Justin asks the guy at the information booth what number bus gets us from hanagana bus station to neve tzedek, where we're staying. He says, "I don't know I hate it here."
Great, just great,
And for some reason, the airport is PACKED, and everyone seems hell-bent on not only getting in our way, but walking directly in our path or the path of our suitcases. I'm on line to get tickets to the train, and two people basically shove in front of me, I'm trying my best to ignore all of the horrible thoughts I have about the stereotypes of my people.
We get on the last bus out of hanagana train station. At least 3 people,offered to help us find our way without asking. Israelis are so helpful. 2 people asked US for directions. It seems Israelis also need a lot of help.
We tell the bus driver where we're going. He's unsure we're on the right bus. We're sure of it, he smiles and shrugs.
About 5 minutes into the ride, a man on the street excitedly waves at the bus to stop. The missile sirens were sounding again. Israel had declared a cease-fire for humanitarian efforts in Gaza, but Hamas didn't seem to care. We all run off the bus, including the driver, and he tells us to leave our stuff on the bus. The man waves us into his apartment building. A mom hugs her child and pulls her into her leg. The little girl hides her face. Justin pulls me into him, and the whole bus is inside this building, looking outside. A large POP and we knew that Iron Dome won another round against a Hamas missile aimed towards Tel Aviv.
We all get back on the bus. No one seems fazed. Everyone is back on the street, driving, laughing, hanging out, eating. And so were we. We really weren't worried.
The only thing justin and I are sure of is that we don't really want to discuss the Israel-Palestine conflict with people at home. It is very complicated. All I know is that war sucks, and I'm happy to be in a place where people are so confident that their military will keep them safe. I'm happy to be in a place where some random dude on the street is invested enough in the safety of others to stop a bus and bring everyone on it into his home, even just for a minute or two.
I learned more here in the 4 or so days I was here, having ran the fuck out of here, than I think most people do on a 2-week trip. I didn't need to see a monument, or a memorial, or float in the Dead Sea. I am walking away (hopefully) with a unique experience, insight and appreciation of Israel that most people don't get and will never understand.
I'm happy to be leaving tomorrow. I think I'm safe here, but I'll be more comfortable knowing that no one is bombing anyone in Turkey.
Well, I HOPE no one is bombing anyone in Turkey.
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