Berlin.

I've never had a desire to come to Germany.  For no reason.  Like, I wouldn't mind if I wound up here for some reason, but on the list of places I dream of going to, it doesn't even make the top 20.  There's already a bunch of places I'm dying to go BACK to before Germany enters my radar.

I intentionally left 5 nights free, between Riga, Latvia and Vilnius, Lithuania and was going to play it by ear.  I was thinking of going down the Latvian coast, going to beach towns on the way to Vilnius.

It became apparent to me in Pärnu that i would be bored.  And cold.  I think I wore shorts in Riga once, and that had been the warmest of all the places we had gone to.  I didn't even feel like stripping down at the beach at Pärnu.  Perfect weather for Justin, too cold for me.

Justin has a friend Heather in Berlin who he's going to be working with on some music, and he asked if there was any way we could make that work.  I was sad that my original plan of really exploring the Baltic was going to come to an end.  But I also realized is that what most people do is rent a car and explore the cute little towns and countryside.  And as sweet as that sounds, it's just not me.  I'm a city girl.  I bore easily.  Beach and *maybe* park is about as close to nature as I ever want to get, and even that's a stretch sometimes.  Ask me how many times I've turned town a beach trip to rockaway.  Too remote.  No way I'm going without a car... I want to be able to get the hell out of there as soon as I can.

So I start researching flights.  Best case scenario: Rīga-Berlin and then berlin-Vilnius.  Best BEST case scenario : somehow sneak a trip to Warsaw in there.  Why Warsaw?  Why not.  All of a sudden Warsaw intrigued me as much as Berlin really did not.  Maybe I want some pierogis.  There is no method to this madness.

I checked flights obsessively for a good three days.  Like rain man.  Completely obsessed, Beacuse it didn't seem like we Were going to get a ticket for less than $275 each, WITH 6 hours of layover, and I really didn't want to pay that much.  Also, Berlin hotels were relatively expensive... Very few available that didn't look like shit holes for less than $100 a night.  When you're traveling for 5 weeks, that shit is totally unaffordable.  I finally found out that Riga to Berlin, Berlin to Riga, Riga to Vilnius was the magic combination that got me a ticket with no layovers, and we could skip the 4 hour bus ride to Vilnius.  That was the best we were going to get.

Of course we get to the airport, and despite Expedia saying that there were no luggage fees, and despite not being able to find an answer on air baltic's website, we had to pay 40€ to check our big bag.  I was pissed... Because that means we have to do the same for each leg.  That's about $150 extra.  But this is the way it goes when you travel, and you just had to suck it up.  When we left Israel for Cyprus, that shit cost €80, so it could be worse.

I tell myself that at least in Berlin I might be able to wear shorts, which seems to be the running theme of the trip.  A running theme I'm pretty sure Justin is tired of hearing.  He hasn't strayed from his uniform of black jeans, black button down since we arrived in Europe.  Sometimes he adds a sweatshirt.

We arrive at Tegel airport, and our hotel is a simple 40-minute bus+metro ride away.  The ticket we bought was less than $4, and when we get to the metro Justin is looking to buy a metro (called the u-Bahn) ticket because he can't believe it's that cheap to get out of the airport.  In New York, they charge you $5 on that stupid air train just to get out of the airport for the privilege of paying your extra $2.75 to get on the subway.

The u-bahn, s-Bahn (light rail that runs in mostly a large loop), bus, and tram system is completely integrated and you can get on any of it for 2 hours for €2.70.  They, unlike us, still have a day ticket for €7.  New York City got rid of their day ticket because people were "taking advantage."  How dare we, "taking advantage" of something we're PAYING for.  Better yet, here there are no turnstiles.  You walk underground and buy your ticket and validate it.  It's run on the honor system.

There's something about the honor system that makes me and Justin completely dishonorable.  We think about all the ways we can beat the system.  Unfortunately, I am painfully honest and totally neurotic and I paid each time.  There was one instance where none of the machines on the platform were working, and I nervously rode that train for one stop, made Justin get off, so that we could find a machine that did work and pay.  There are a lot of plain-clothes undercover cops waiting to see who doesn't pay, and charge you a €60 fine on the spot.  Evidently, you pay it right there, and if it turns out you don't have the cash, they follow you to an ATM machine and make you take it out.  I couldn't handle that kind of embarrassment, and I assured Justin that although we didn't see any cops yet, my kind of luck would ensure that that one time we didn't pay, even though we tried, we'd somehow manage to get arrested.  He didn't argue with me.  I couldn't believe it.

Our hotel is in alt-templehof, which must be German for "no cool shit happens here."  The room is quiet and clean, and except for the lack of air conditioning (it's evidently not a big thing here to expect anyway), a window that barely opens, it's just fine.  There's a tv that has CNN and BBC Britain, which would be a lot more exciting if either of them were talking about anything besides the Turkish coup 24-7.  Not that it isn't important, but it's over and most people think that erdogan staged the whole thing anyway.

We spent a couple of days just wandering around Berlin.  It's bigger than you might expect, and everything on the train takes longer than you think.  You have to transfer a lot, but usually the transfer is on the same platform, and the trains come every couple of minutes.

I got a weird craving for pasta.  I never eat pasta at home.  But this Italian place is around the corner from the hotel, in a neighborhood full of rotisserie joints and kebab places, and it's really well-reviewed on trip advisor.  Justin doesn't even understand this decision of mine, but he never says no when I even hint at Italian food.

The service is excellent and they're super nice, so much so that I don't even get upset when the carbonara I order is basically what I'd make at home when I'm lazy... Spaghetti with butter melted on it and old pecorino that's been sitting in my fridge too long.  Except here, they topped that this with scallions.  Fucking scallions.  That is just bizarre.  At least it was less than 8€.  I guess I should have known better.  I started reading stories from people saying they went to Mexican restaurants that used Lima beans.  I guess that would have been worse.  Berlin, I'm not sure how I'm feeling about you.

We go to an area called neuköln.  We're on the periphery, and there's a Huge Turkish and Muslim population.  We're hearing more Arabic than anything else.  I'm admitting something I don't want to admit: I'm a bit uncomfortable.  I have NO ISSUE with either Turkish people or Muslims.  But there is currently a big anti-Muslim sentiment in Germany because of all of the refugees and there is a coup that JUST happened in Istanbul.  I DO NOT want to be caught in a protest. I do NOT want to witness an uprising.  I want to get through my summer vacation without experiencing the  terrorism.  We were hiding in bomb shelters in Israel.  The Paris attack happened a couple of months after we were there.  Im not proud of this.  But I just want to be safe. I get over it quickly.

On a lighter note, we went to the computer game museum.  At first we weren't sure it was the right place, but there was a large group of chubby, balding dudes all dressed in black outside... Justin joked it looked like a Reddit meetup... Yeah, that was the place.

Inside was a history of computer games and gaming systems and you could play some of them.  So I hear Justin laughing, and he excited yells over to me, "Cindy come here, this is REAL!"

It's a large arcade table about waist-high.  It's Pong, the first computer game created.   If you don't know it, it's super basic.  You are a goalie on either end, and you control a thin paddle as a tiny ball bounces back and forth between you.  But in this game, as you control the paddle with your right hand, your left hand has to press two points of contact the whole time.  Every time you miss a ball, you get delivered a random punishment.  A flash of heat, an electric shock, or a rubber whip which gets slapped across your hand, all delivered electronically.

You have to be over 18, and there's a guy who describes how the game goes.  He's laughing the whole time.  You have to sign a waiver.  At first, he explains, the punishment is mild.  But every time you lose, the punishment gets worse and worse.  As in, people leave bleeding, or bruised, or burned, or pretty badly shocked.  He says he's witnessed people play for 2 hours at a time, and people get really hurt.  Justin wants to play. Of course he does. I suck at video games.  I think I might have said, "get the fuck out of here," children everywhere.  I don't give a shit.  They shouldn't know how to say that in English anyway.

Of course I play, and it only takes a few minutes before I am delivered my first punishment: a harmless, yet surprising, shock that goes up to my elbow.  I jerk my hand away and say louder than I should have "get the FUCK out of here" and wander off into the next room.  I didn't even try to get Justin back. I quit while i was behind.  As anti feminist as this is, this a game made for Justin and his brothers, or Justin and his studio mates.  Not Justin and his girlfriend.

Heather and her boyfriend offer to take us to dinner.  The take us to Max and Moritz, a traditional and old German food restaurant in a historic building.  I'm not even really hungry, considering I had a kofte sandwich only a few hours earlier.  Luckily the service in Berlin is slow, so by the time it came I was ready enough to eat.  They make their own beer, so all of us order it.  It's delicious.  German beer is only allowed to have 4 ingredients by law... No bullshit preservatives or whatever, and it's all amazing.  This from someone who only really likes beer when I'm on a hot beach and they squeeze the equivalent of a whole citrus fruit in it.

I order what I think might be the lightest dish on the menu.  I haven't met these people, and I don't want to be THAT GIRL who orders a salad.  At a German restaurant.  But I have been eating Latvian food for a week, and that shit was starting to take its toll, especially since I just want to try EVERYTHING.  So I order the sauerbraten.  It's braised, lean, beef, with braised red cabbage (which I love) and dumplings.  I won't eat the carbs.  Fine.

Justin gets the meatballs, fist-sized and swimming in a sea of cream sauce.  I think he's still trying to make up for missing out on the authentic Swedish-meatball experience which Only a trip to ikea at home is going to cure.  Heather gets kasespetzle, which are egg noodles covered in cheese and broiled.  Like Mac and cheese with the richness of more egg.  Because Mac and cheese isn't rich enough.  Her boyfriend gets a whole plate of meat of I don't know what.  I made a good choice.  German dumplings are matzoh balls that didn't get the memo about "lightness."  Easily avoided.  The cabbage is drowned in delicious sauerbraten sauce, but it's still a vegetable, technically.

What I didn't anticipate was the sauce on the sauerbraten had to have had a couple of sticks of butter in it, because it was (a) stupidly amazing and (b) woke me up in the middle of the night with a huge case of reflux, like an angry German cow was sitting on my chest.  And my arms ached, like my arteries were begging for mercy.

I'm done eating for sport.  I think I need a cholesterol check when I get home.

German food: amazing.  I can also eat that shit at Zum stammtische, in queens, in the winter, when I don't care as much about what my gut looks like and i need food for survival and warmth.

We go to Heather's favorite bar, where they know the bartender.  I spent the night talking to heather, drinking schnapps and what have you.  Justin winds up talking to a girl DJ who gives us stickers with cartoon vaginas on it, and the next thing I know, they're getting into an argument about music.  I stay out of it.  All I know is the bartender starts getting pissy because Justin said something about what "the people" like, musically... he makes some argument neither of us understand about how you can't generalize about what "the people" like in Germany, because talking about "the people" as a generalization is reminiscent of when they killed the Jews.  His English was a little jerky and he seemed super offended even though he was from LOUISIANA.  In the U.S.A.  THAT Louisiana. With family in Binghamton.

I'm not in love with Berlin.  But i like it.  It feels comfortable, like New York.   Great public transportation.  Dense with sights and places to go.  Green spaces.  Bar culture.  You can drink anywhere in public and you can take your bikes on the trains with no problem.  Eye ride their bikes on the sidewalk but are conscious of everyone around them.  People speak English, although I'm convinced that if I were here I could learn German pretty easily.  There are so many words that look or sound like English.  It's affordable, and not packed full of fucking people like New York City is.   I don't know how I could live here and not be 300 pounds, but I guess that's a whole other issue.