Izmir – Istanbul

When I was home, I booked a ticket from Istanbul to Barcelona, with a connection in Athens for one night. It's not enough time in Greece, but I get to see the Acropolis, eat some grilled fish, go to Barcelona. And Greece is still on the Euro (for how long, who knows) so at least I only need to change to one more currency. When I was in Istanbul, I realized I could fly straight from Izmir to Athens for about $50, instead of taking a bus or plan back to Istanbul just to take the plane again. I called the airline, and they said that if I did not show up for the 1st leg of the flight, they cancel the whole journey. They could change the whole ticket, but it would cost me another $150, which was the original price of the ticket, so I decided to take a night bus back to Istanbul. I had already booked a night in Istanbul, which I was going to lose, because the guy at the hostel said it was better for him if I paid in advance rather than just paying a deposit. Of course it would be better for him. The 10 pm night bus which I thought left from right around the corner in Izmir was actually a 9:20 shuttle to a 10:00 bus at the bus station. I wouldn't have known this at all had I net gone back to the station to try to get an earlier bus ride, figuring the earlier I got back to Istanbul, the more likely I could take a quick shower, eat a quick breakfast, and see Topkapi Palace, the only thing I felt like I missed out on. The bus was a Mercedes-Benz! Woo-hoo! I quickly learn that Mercedes-Benz, in Turkish, must mean “Really Fucking Uncomfortable.” I can usually contort myself into some kind of knot to at least get a little sleep. Not this time. I took a benadryl to knock me out. Nope. Did I mention that this 10-hour bus ride was on a bus with no bathroom? The bus makes stops every couple of hours, in the middle of the night, so that you can get up and use the facilities. Which I did, with my contacts out, so that when I returned at 2 in the morning, blind and loopy, I couldn't find my bus. I now know that I really can't expect anyone to understand my English at the bus station, so I am now reverting to grunting and pointing at tickets. Miraculously, this was a better method than trying to actually be understood. I get to the bus station. There is no clear sign for the Metro, which easily leads to the tram, which is a 5 minute downhill walk to the hostel. They say “bus service” which I realize indicates that a minibus will take me close to somewhere I need to be. I get three conflicting instructions of where to go... I pick the one that sounds the most familiar. Did I mention that I have a rule of three in Turkey? Ask three people, and if you get the same response twice, go with it. If not, cross your fingers and hope for the best. I tell the bus driver im going to Sultanahmet.. He forgets about me. I go to the front, and see at least see SOME tram station and he lets me off. We'll call that a win. But not exactly. Did I mention that one of the bus companies is also called “Metro?” So if I just ask for “Metro” I'm really not saying anything particularly helpful. Turkey is confusing as fuck. The trip in total took about 12 hours. I never got to see Topkapi, and I spent the morning reading and sweating, just really, dying to get the hell out of there. I liked Turkey, but it was time for something completely different. So I treat myself to a taxi ride UP THE HILL, as the traffic in Istanbul is so bad that it's faster, cheaper, and easier to take the tram/metro. Better than the airport shuttle bus. The taxi driver drives in circles, a common scam, and when the price gets to 6 lira, I start critiquing, in English, that it's right up the fucking hill, and he gets mad at me and says “all one way!!!” Bullshit. He angrily drops me off at a different tram station than I asked, and when he gets my stuff out of the trunk, he's pissed at ME! I give him a 20, he gives me 10, and the meter read 6.65. I said “oh, HELL no!” and he says “that is it!!” as if he had no change to give me, and I sat back in the cab until he gave me 3 lira. Ass-munch. I shoulda walked.